GG's day!

A VERY Happy Birthday to GG!!!

Uh-oh, someone's 19 today! GG you've been with us full-time for a few short months and I ALREADY dread the day you'll move out, even though I know it'll be onwards and upwards. We've wanted you here since day one and it's truly a dream come true to have you here and to have our family complete. We all love you so much. I know you have amazing things ahead in your life because you are a special young woman. You are smart and so kind. You are always willing to step in and help and be involved with your siblings, looking out for them and offering advice because you care. I love spending time with you, watching Netflix series or laughing when I glance over at you in yoga. Or laughing at you acting like a crazy old lady and shaking your booty like you are right now! :) You light up every room, eveywhere you go. Your spirit is beautiful as are you. We are and always will be here for you no matter what. Did I mention I think you're amazing?!? Happy Birthday babygirl!!!
xoxo


Grace wanted some type of mango chicken for her birthday dinner. I used this recipe and also made some Cafe Rio Cilantro Lime Rice (with brown rice).  She had mentioned a sweet mango sauce and asked "can you do that?" This is what I came up with:

Cilantro Mango Dressing
1.5-2 cups chopped mango (I used some fresh and some frozen Organic from Costco).
1 green onion (it was a nice thick one)
1 large elephant garlic clove
1/4 cup cilantro (add more to taste, we like cilantro!)
1/2 an avocado
Juice of 1 lime
-Blended in Vitamix on soup setting to warm.
-Spooned over the top of chicken and rice.

I hope the Birthday girl liked it. I really liked this sauce and think it'd be delicous on a green salad with black beans and veggies. Yum!! (I could have just eaten it cold as an "ice cream" treat!) Pineapple would be good added in too I think. Next time.

Journey to My Inner Garden of Eden.

3-8-2014 My notebook:
I am a healer & I will first heal ME.
I can, will, & deserve all good things. I accept abundance!
I CAN lose weight.
I can be big & powerful at ANY physical size.
I don't have to be big to be seen/heard & no matter how big I get it can NEVER be as big as my power IS.

The start of my journey to a healthy self:

I had been reading the book Falling to Heaven by James L. Ferrell and was having some great AHA moments. I had that feeling of being on the precipice of learning a new principle. I also had/have attended a few Addiction Recovery Meetings that our church offers, because I figured it was a new angle I hadn't explored in my 10+ years of praying to get healthy. I will say that they are absolutely an amazingly spiritual experience and am so grateful for those who are humble and brave enough to face their struggles and imperfections. I'm pretty sure it's the very rare person who could go to those meetings and not find something to work on!

Next on my journey was a visit with a friend's nephew who did a session of energy work with me. Some things came up in regards to my health, particularly that I had candida. Not awkward for that poor 19 year old young man at all, lol. Anyways, I instantly knew he was right. I'd had a rash on my inner elbows forever and after my miscarriage in November it had spread over my entire torso and up my neck. And it was itching like crazy. Horrible. Anyways, I had called to set up an appointment the day before to check it out, but on my way to his house I totally thought yeast. So weird that he said that out of the blue right? I got home that night and started researching candida and learned that I'd basically overloaded my system with sugar. It'd always been a problem, but an extra big problem since the miscarriage. I was staying up until the morning, not eating all day, and then eating candy and ice cream as well as drinking 44 oz Cokes with lime and coconut sugar added nightly. It was bad. So, I quit soda again that next day and was trying to be a little more aware of my sugar intake.

Shortly after all that, I went to a Relief Society activity celebrating the Relief Society Birthday. The theme was Make a Wish and it was really fun. Basically, everyone wrote down a wish from come clean my bathroom to bring me a surprise. I wished that someone would teach me about clean eating. What it was, how to plan meals, shop, etc.An awesome girl in my ward picked mine (I was hoping she would) and invited me over to chat a few days later. The next day she sent me a message asking if I wanted to do an 8 week challenge with her. Yes! Then a few minutes later she asked if I'd do a 100 day challenge starting tomorrow. Yes!? :)  

 I went to my first Time Out for Women the next week with some awesome friends and my daughter Grace. It was a lot of fun and my first week on the clean eating challenge. It was interesting, but not nearly as hard as I would have thought previously. I really enjoyed a talk by Laurel C. Day. A few things I took note of:
~ Delight in God & in being dedicated to Him and He will put the desires in our hearts to make room for the things He has to give us that are right for our lives. 
~ Let the Holy Ghost show us ourselves as we really are.
~ We need to pray to learn God's truths.
~ Power in CHOICES!! I choose to be __________ TODAY! (healthy, awesome mom, yogi, healer)
~It's Time to Wake Up!!!! See His ways for me. See His truths. Live MY life. CHOOSE!

I had wanted to do the BMS 8 week challenge previously because I knew if I was accountable to a team and would be affecting their points I'd do what needed to be done. I was a little surprised that I've been able to do so well not being on a team. We do have our points for the week posted on our groups fb page though and apparently that's what I needed. I have PERFECT points right now and that's really keeping me going. I fear what I'd let slide if I lost some points. I think everything was laid out line upon line and got me mentally ready to take care of myself. I also started doing yoga again and love it. At home first, then some classes at the gym. I feel like I'm really good at the mental side of it and love how it goes with my whole vision of turning my insides into a Garden of Eden. Did I not mention that? Haha. Gotta have a good visual. I gave up soda last year for 16 months and started working out and didn't lose any weight. I was really frustrated and started drinking it again. This time, I really just wanted to be healthy and treat my body like the temple it is. I wanted to feel better and be around longer! I didn't want weight to be my #1 focus and stop doing something  that was so good for me regardless of how things looked on the outside. Hence, the Garden of Eden vs. gross sludge. 

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I survived a trip to Lake Chelan for a week, dinner out several times, and let me not fail to mention the dreaded PMS. I ate healthy and exercised 6 times a week like a champ. I've definitely noticed that I feel more alert and alive and human! :)  Seriously though, I'd become an expert at ignoring my body completely. I could live with pain and accept my body's limitations as the norm. Before the challenge started I remember being in the car around 7:00 pm and telling Rob that I still felt half asleep and like I never fully wake up. Sludge. Easter weekend was a whole other story, but one I want to remember so I can come back and remind myself. First I threw Rob a Marvel 40th Birthday Surprise Party. My amazing sister-friends all made yummy treats at my request for the dessert table and I had two picked out for my two freebie servings for the week. I hadn't taken them, at least not with something really low in nutrition, since I started the challenge. I was hoping they'd make me sick, but instead they just tasted like heaven and I didn't notice anything physically. The next day was Tayvin's birthday party. I did fine during that, but that night we decided to go out for dinner to celebrate Rob, Tay's and Grace's birthdays. I decided to use one of our three free meals for the challenge and had a burger and fries. No soda though. It was delicious and I felt absolutely disgusting!! My stomach felt heavy and like it had a brick sitting in it. I kept burping and had heart burn. It was so gross. I've been pleasantly full on the challenge, but always still fill nice and light. Ugh. 20-30 minutes of taste good for 24 hours of nasty. Not worth it! Then Easter rolled around. I tried to get minimal candy for the kids and not necessarily stuff I loved. Grandma on the other hand, got some of my very favorites and sent us home with a Costco pack of cookies and extra cupcakes. I had half a Costco carrot cake cupcake for my first treat of the new week. Monday was Tay's actual birthday and she wanted pizza for dinner. Luckily, she was happy to have fruit and whipped cream for dessert. Here's the deal though:

Eating crap awakens and summons the cravin' dragon. Like for reals! I had the harshest craving, unlike any I'd had the entire challenge. So not fun. Trying to put together a whole wheat veggie pizza with the cheesy pizza sitting on the cutting board next to me along with all the Easter/Birthday crap about did me in. I ended up using my second freebie for a small, hollow chocolate bunny the next day. This time I did feel sick. I finished it off even though I realized after that the last half didn't taste nearly as good as the first. Something I plan on paying better attention to. I also felt kind of nauseous after. Not worth it, but so annoying. I realized that even while feeling sick my mind would think about what other sugary crap I could eat. None...not losing my points remember? But, it's so true that the sugar/fat combos of processed foods are so evilly meant to act as a drug. The cravings are almost overwhelming and once you give in and have something they grow exponentially. I plan on having a treat now and again when I'm off challenge, but I'm hoping it won't be often and that the cravings after will lessen. 

I did weigh myself today though and realized I've finally lost some weight! 15-17 pounds!!!! Woo hoo! Some motivation along with feeling better to keep going! I'm also seeing changes already in yoga. I could do a few poses that I couldn't a month ago and can go deeper into others! I love that!! I also love that the whole family is eating healthier. I plan on continuing forever and am excited to be teaching the kids better habits that I hope they'll adopt and not have to struggle as much as I have. Tay is really interested in yoga too and Rob's been going to the classes at the gym with me. Fun! 

So, there you have it. I've got a looooong way to go, but at least I'm on the road and off the couch. 

 

My 15 year Miracle!

We were in town after the coast and then Bruno Mars the night before. I had seen this amazing bedspread in an Instagram pic and the awesome lady told me she bought it at Ikea. My husband did not want to go, but thankfully was a good sport. We ate lunch and were taking our time. I did "check in" from my phone, only the second time I'd ever done that. The first being at the concert the night before. We were about to round the corner to head to the exit and were stopped to pick out a tiny vase for the lucky bamboo Khi convinced me to buy him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her mom (didn't click) then her dad (started to click) then her twin sisters that are 6 and it totally clicked! I whipped around to take a look and saw them all stopped at the next display checking something out. As I looked past them I spotted Kaitlin high-tailing it away from all of us with a cart. No joke...dead run. Lol. I ran back to Robert with my stomach in my throat, heart about to burst from my chest and was desperately trying to relay to him that I had seen Kaitlin and SHE. WAS. HERE!!! Holy crap! What do I do, what do I do? I asked. Then I added that she was running away and I didn't want to freak her out more. He asked if I was sure and I replied yes, but peeked back around the corner. Yep...there she was turned and looking right at me....and fleeing again! Girl can run! She doesn't get that from me! ;)  I turned back to Rob and said that I was sure, again asking what to do. He said to just be cool and act normal, put his arm around me and we started walking. Her family was still in the same spot, she was long gone, and I was like we are all here. They are RIGHT. THERE. No way I'm not saying hello. This is no coincidence.

I headed towards her family. Her dad noticed me first and got a huge smile and started walking over. We met half way and hugged. Then I hugged her mom and said hi to her girls. I had introduced my family to them and was just officially being introduced to their twins when Kaitlin walked up and stood next to me with a confident "hello!" And that smile. Sigh. Her dad instantly asked us to get together for a photo, which we happily did. As her mom was explaining to her sisters that I was Kaitlin's birthmom and reminding them how they'd discussed how they came out of her belly, but Kaitlin came out of some one else's and this is her! Meanwhile I was telling my 5 year: "remember how we pray for Kaitlin every night? Well this is Kaitlin!" She then insisted on having her picture taken with her as well. Then Kaitlin's dad looked over at our 2.5 year old in the shopping cart and longingly said "oh, I just want to pick her up and hold her. It's like my baby girl is back again." It was the sweetest. So we then took an picture of "the twins" Kaitlin and Ave...just 13 years apart, but who's counting?

We stood there for awhile talking and a few faves were her dad saying that we were having a family reunion in Ikea, that the birth-father was going to be hanging out in PDX Ikea now, and that we should definitely plan a meeting next time! We all chatted some more and then her dad said that they were going to go and get some frozen yogurt. I started to say goodbye, and he was like "um, you could come with us!" So, we all went to pay and Mekhi (my 11 year old son) was over at the register with them. He then came running back over to us and was like "mom! that lucky bamboo really was lucky and it worked fast!!" Lol. So awesome. I know officially love lucky bamboo as well. We all go some yogurt and sat in the little Ikea courtyard area talking for at least another hour. It was amazing, fun, surreal, totally normal, awesome!!! I loved how Kaitlin and Mekhi were cracking each other up. Seriously. Warmed my heart. At one point Kaitlin and I both stopped and just stared into each other's eyes. I finally kind of laughed and said "I can't believe I'm sitting here looking at you!!" It was truly one of the very best days of my life. We got more big hugs and even mentioned maybe doing a camping trip together. I die! It all the sudden dawned on me on the way to our van that one of the first things her dad said was that he saw we went to the concert the night before (my first check-in), and that he may have totally orchestrated this whole thing. Even so, it's a huge store and the timing was just right. I love him even more if he/they did though. I think it would have been way to crazy for me and too hard for Kaitlin if we had known it was coming!!! It took about 20 minutes driving towards home for me to lose it and start crying as I said a prayer of thanks. I think I was in shock. I look back and hope I didn't sound like a bumbling fool the whole time, but it was so crazy!!! God loves me. It was a total miracle. <3 p="">

Yep.

2012 Kid Update

Khi had become very enamored with the idea of getting a bird. Lucky him, his scout leader had one that his kids weren't taking care of and was willing to let Khi adopt it. What are the odds? He's had him for a few months and another budgee for a month or so now. He is doing really well with being responsible for them. Their names are Tarzan and Flash. He is really working on his attitude and is doing a great job with his sisters. He does this crazy dance every once in awhile to make me laugh, and it kills me every time. He's really growing up too fast! He's been busy riding his bike, swimming, drawing, and playing with friends. We had his cousin Trev here for a week and I couldn't believe they didn't get sick of each other, but they had so much fun and were two peas in a pod.

Tay is a diva as usual. She wants whatever she can't have and has been trying to throw big old fake crying fits. Man, that gets old quick. She is a social, social girl. She begs to go play with friends multiple times a day up until bed time. She was a bit hesitant to swim with out her life-jacket this pool season, but swam with out it all the way across the 26' by herself last week. She loves all the attention she can get and is a total ham. We got a new little fluff-ball of a kitten a few days ago and I swear she thinks she is his mother. She spends hours in the room with him and then wants to go right back to her baby kitty because "he misses me, right?" Everything is "right mommy, right?" She's cute, but after a few hours it drives me nuts! So Rob told her that after you kiss a boy you get married to them. I'm not quite sure about this as she is now obsessed with coming up to me and with her version of a deep voice saying things like "hey baby, wanna kiss me and get married to me pretty baby?" All while attacking me with kisses. She sounds like Elvis and it's pretty funny. Tay is also into making up songs and is actually pretty good at it, some of them really surprise me. She still loves to draw and paint and is really creative.

Ave is seriously growing up way too fast. She is a dancing fool that girl. She has different versions of her dance depending on the type of music. She does this squat type of gorilla looking move for rap. It's really funny to watch her. She talks like crazy. She says "come on" and waves her hand for you to follow...doesn't sound that cute, but in her little baby/kind of deep voice it's so stinking cute. She also started to say "I'll take some" or "I'll take that" anytime she sees food. She's actually saying that to Rob in the kitchen right now, lol. I heard her the other day in the family room saying it and I looked over to see her looking at a baked bean commercial on TV. Yeah. She was sitting on her little chair the other day and I could hear her saying to herself "Cool dude, cool. Dude. Cool. Dude" so funny. She always says "no wan it, don't want that bed" or whatever else it is she doesn't want at the time. We get tons of kisses and I lub you's from her, she is so sweet. I think she's starting to get over her extreme stranger danger, which is nice. I swear she'd freak out and scream her head off anytime one of her uncle's would walk in the room. Anytime she see's water she yells at us about it and then yells "fishy!!!" She's very attached to her blanket Grandma made her, which has now been dubbed her night-night. She takes it everywhere and I'm always having to wash it, hopefully it holds up. Ave says everything is funny. "Movie. Funny...Khi. Funny. Kitty. Funny." :)  Her big thing that has been so funny for months now though is her saying anyone who tells her no is a "meanie." When she's really tired she starts to hit and gets really ornery and she'll sit there mumbling to herself "Daddy, meanie. KhiKhi meanie. Taytay meanie. Buster meanie."  I love how she sings along to all the songs in the car, sometimes she knows a shocking amount of the words, other times she just gets really loud and kind of yells the last word of the phrase. Pretty funny little Doodle.

Tay's 1st Dance Recital

Half the time she doesn't want to go to class, but she always loves it once she's there. It's been fun having her in class with other friends and her cousin J!! How cute are they?!

January 2012 in a Nutshell

Khi wouldn't let us cut his hair and wouldn't comb it either.

 Tay in love with the puppies at a friends house for a birthday party.

 No more snacks???

 We LOVE Jake the Foster's dog.

 Got a good snow storm and attempted to go play in the snow with some friends...

 it was so bitterly cold and windy it hurt!

 Some of the kids trying to brave it.

 Ave a little happier in the garage and out of the wind!

 Little silly just chillin'.

 Getting their sledding in.

 Having fun jumping of the stairs into the pillows. :)

 "Cheese!" during some after church family movie time.

 Still cheesing.

 Getting her dance on.

 Both my girls are obsessed with shoes.

 Yep. That just happened.

 Hanging out at my friend Katie's house when I hear her laughing and telling me to come here and bring your camera. Girl after my own heart. This was actually the second time Ave did this, but I missed the photo op the first time around. 

 Cousins watching a movie and eating ice cream.

 Mr. Suave at the movies for date night.

 Red Robin...Yum.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

 Girls Turkey outfits above and Thanksgiving at Grandma's house with Sam & Yumiko below.

 Tay handling the turkey leg the next day.

And here is Ms. Bailey on her last holiday with us. She was seriously THE absolute dream dog. 

Best. Dog. Ever!!

RIP Bailey. 

Thank you for being such a huge part of our family for 15 years! We love you girl.