There are no coincidences...

Hey hey. So. I STILL plan on doing a real post just on energy work, I really do. But it's so funny how things work. A wonderful friend and counselor Tawnia, whom I love, had been emailing regularly and then went MIA. So, my natural reaction was to think she was mad at me or didn't like me because I have issues like that. Fortuantely this time, I wass able to stop and question my thinking and put a stop to it. AHHH growth. Funny though, because I couldn't fall asleep the other night and was composing an email to her in my head and the next day I get a phone message from her saying I dialed the wrong number, but realized it was you so hung on to say hello. :D I think that is so funny.

Anyways... if you know me you know I'm fat. Yep. So, a few things on that end of things. I've been sick, but trying to still do a bit of energy work regarding weight. Then this whole post a retro pic thing on facebook comes up. I post my little Tam pics and I'm looking at them and it dawns on me...huh. Not fat. How come I always think back and think I was ALWAYS fat? So messed up, but gets me thinking on my distorted mind set again. Then I decide to watch Dr. Oz and it's on what other topic, but weight! Maybe it is a lot though, I haven't really watched his show. He had this family come back (I'd like to see their original appearance) and actually come to the hospital and meet a man who lived his life overweight, then later return to see the same man have heart surgery. The thing that really got me was #1 all the fat on the actual heart. Dr. Oz said "you're worried about the fat on your thighs, I'm worried about the fat on your heart." Well, dang. Now, I'm kinda worried about both. I think I knew you could get fat on your actual organs, I must have. I don't know, but it didn't look good and he showed how it was making the heart beat slower and it was scary. #2 One of the daughters said that the thing that impressed her the most was how Dr. Oz explained on the previous show that all the extra weight she was carrying was literally putting pressure and in effect crushing her rib cage and all her internal organs. Yeeeahhhh. Huh. Ok. So here I am, going to bed with all THAT on my mind, as well as all this FAT on my rib cage and internal organs! Sweet dreams!

So this morning I get on good ol' facebook and my friend Jetta from way back in high school (further actually, I gotta pull out those pics!) anyways, had reposted a link to her new blog. I'd already checked it out when it was brand, brand new and became a follower. She's lost 90 lbs!! Seriously! How awesome is that?!? Pretty stinking awesome! Well, I went and read through all her recent posts and it was amazing. I really love her that much more for being so open and honest. I totally relate to all the fat side of things she describes. I highly encourage a visit (many) over at her site!! I can't wait to continue following her and I can't help but be a bit scared that the timing is ... yeah. I'm so scared to change. We sent a few messages and I told her that I feel like I'm trying to do things backwards from her as far as healing the emotional stuff in hopes of getting to the weight loss, whereas she is now really tackling the emotional side of things. I love her most recent post with the pic of her with her SIL. You can read my comment there if interested, but I definitely relate and it sucks! But it's good. I think seeing that stark contrast was like seeing that heart covered in fat. Too close to home.

Now. I've somewhat been here a hundred times before. I get all jazzed up. I'm really not a total idiot folks. I do realize I'm fat. I also know that it's unhealthy. Duh, right? I guess that's why I've been trying to focus on the inside/emotional side because knowing all that, I still haven't changed my habits. But who knows... reconnecting on facebook just may save my life. Sounds drastic, but if you saw a big piece of furniture crushing your kids rib cage and their internal organs... I know! Drastic.