Everyone depressed yet?

I've probably driven the 2 or 3 of you who read this away by now. I live for adventure and chance though, so here's some more just in case one of you is still here.

I've discovered that although I can find many, many, way too many, things to do and make by looking at others blogs, it can also be really depressing. Seriously. I understand that most of these women are just posting the best of. Right? But I am like a serious professional lately at forgetting that and then comparing my average/worst to their best. How much does that suck you may ask? Pretty much completely sucks. I have talents. I have a craft area now. I have many projects to do. I have years of scrapbooking to catch up on. I pretty much don't ever do any of it. I'm 34! I want to be living my best life. I want to be active and making things happen and getting things done. I too often find myself waking up to realize another day, week, month, year, decade has floated on past. Blech. I am still trying to get it together and put myself out there a bit more, but really? Why all the set-backs? I feel like I'm constantly missing out because I feel tired or irritated, or mad, or depressed... but why? I have been making more of an effort to go to activites at church, etc. I have even tried reaching out to a few other ladies at church lately. And it's good. Now, if I could just have the good be the norm and be sitting here writing about all the good and better and best things I've done lately. Sigh. Seriously, as soon as things start to feel do-able the roller-coaster takes a nose dive again. And it took a doosy of one this time. So here is my life right now and the reason behind my latest posts:

Monday Robert came home from a meeting at SkyWest and told me he got fired. Yep. Fired. He had been supsended because of some juvenile "points" system they started and after being a few minutes late a few times and then having to call off when I had strep awhile back he was out of points and thus suspended. I really had no clue that after the suspension he'd be fired! I mean, why suspend him in the first place? I then make the mistake of saying "well, at least it was the job that pays the least."

Then I find out that Mekhi was involved in some trouble at school and was suspended from recess for a few days! Complete with a trip to the priniciple's office and all. I was actually sick to my stomach and really upset. This isn't the kid I know. He's still sticking with his story and Rob believes that it was a case of bad judgement and I hope so, but I'm not totally sure. He has just always been so honest (down to telling on himself since he was really little)  and so concerned for others feelings. I don't know what to do with that one.

Then Wednesday rolls along and Robert comes home after school in his FedEx uniform and says I got fired. Yep. Fired. Have you guys met this husband of mine? Not fireable! For those keeping score that is Zero jobs, fired on a Monday and the consecutive Wednesday, and no savings. Smart huh?!?

Again.

Anyways. Needless to say, but I was seriously stressed. Thankfully, seriously...grateful. I called and unloaded on my beautiful cousin Juli. Then I went to take a hot shower to try and relax some more. Unfortunately this didn't work ... like, at all. Before I knew it my head was pounding so hard, I tried to answer it. I was completely nauseated from the pain. I've always stored my stress in my shoulders and neck, but I'd been fighting this painful knot for a few weeks, and now like magic,  a friend had joined on the other side of my back. The combo of the two, up to my neck, and into my head just about knocked me out. Like laying on my bed, trying to crawl out of my skin kinda hurting. Called my parents out of desperation and Rob started calling chiropractor's but it was almost 5 and we learned that our insurance doesn't cover them ... AT ALL. Nice. My poor mom was stuck at home with bronchitis when she had planned to be in TX loving up her newest grandson, was now on the phone with her big bawling baby of a daughter. Again, nice. Robert was trying to help me get dressed to take me to the ER, but my mom called my brother Derek who dutifully showed up on my doorstep. Hello, magic hands!! He massaged for a few minutes and the headache lessened enough that I didn't feel like I was going to be sick and I could open my eyes. He kept going and I felt almost human again. I still have some now seriously sore knots in my back, so if you have any tips to help with that I'll take them gladly. I really fear being back in that unhappy, want to crawl out of my skin place. Not cool.

I took some excederin after all that and my awesome dad showed up and gave me the best blessing I've heard him give. It was pretty awesome. Thanks dad!! I am so grateful to have a dad that is worthy of the priesthood he holds and even better to have a husband worthy to hold that priesthood in our home!! Awesome! At this point it was like 6:45 pm and I decided to go ahead and head over to the chruch because I had made a commitment to teach one of the beehives how to crochet. I'm so glad I did! She was so cute and picked it up like a champ!! So, now that you know all the sorry details of my life...

How you doin'?